Do you ever feel that way? Nothing else can explain how you feel or why you feel that way except that four letter word. Lost. You don't know exactly where you are or where you're going. That's kind of how I feel right now.
I'm in a really big part of my life and good things are happening for me, but I still feel lost. Like I don't quite fit in anywhere in this state, don't belong is more the term. I never felt I have belonged here, not with who I am, how I dress, the way I do things, or any of that. I always say "I'm to big for this place" and I fully believe that 110% plus some. Sometimes that's just how it is.
I don't dream of staying close to my parents or other family members, as much as I might love and care for them that's not my place. I dream of the city. Sirens blaring, people constantly moving, all of the commotion, taking the subway, looking down from a small apartment on to a place that doesn't ever stop moving. That's where I really want to be.
Sometimes, I think it's time I take a drive, take off the rear view mirror, and never look back.
That sounds pretty good right about now. Who's with me?
Totally how I used to feel. I wanted to be on Broadway and live in the heart of new York. And here I am, in provo utah married at 21 studying to be an English teacher. No one knows how that happened. But even as I am laying here next to my snoring husband, I wouldn't trade it for all the Broadway in new York.
ReplyDeleteYou just gotta do what's best for you. And if that's moving to a big city with all the lights and awesomeness, then you go for it. Nothing is stopping you except for you.
Thanks Whit :) It's going to happen for me, that's where some of the best job opportunities for me are going to be, I'm going to make it happen. Lots of people say I'm going to hate it or that I'll never make it, but once someone tells me I can't, I'm determined to prove them wrong.
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