It sucks. A lot. To have something I worked so hard for be "taken" away from me so quickly is hard. I'll admit that there were tears and doubts of my talent, it's a blow to the ego and that's inevitable.
But don't feel bad for me. I'm a fighter. I'm not giving up. My life has been flipped upside down in a way I wasn't entirely prepared for, but maybe that's the point. Maybe I wasn't supposed to be prepared for it. I know that I didn't make the cut because I'm a bad designer or because I didn't want it bad enough. That's not why. I know the reason why and it's on my shoulders, no one else's.
I'm a good designer. I know my stuff. I think outside the box. I see things from a new angle. Utah State's ID program has not seen the last of me and they won't see the last of me until I graduate with my degree. I'm a fighter and I am going to fight for my career because there is nothing that can make me happier than design and there is nothing else that I am more passionate for, even if it means starting over as a freshman in the program.
This is not a failure. This is an opportunity. An opportunity for me to try again. To better myself as a designer and to bring a bigger, better game to the table. I won't give up. It's not in my blood to give up and those of you that know me well know that.
Tell me I can't and I'll show you I can. I'm lucky to be able to have even a chance to go through it again and be ahead in so many ways because of the things I have already learned. I get a second chance. I will start over, if not at USU then somewhere else. Hopefully I get the chance to reapply at USU and go through the program again with professors that have taught me so much, but if that's not the case I'm not giving up.
I know what I can do, I know who I am, and I know that I can do this. It sucks now and it's not okay now, but it will be. If it's not okay it's not the end.
This is my opportunity to step it up, and you better believe I will.
Congratulations to both freshmen and sophomores that made their cuts, you will be great and I wish you luck. To those that didn't I wish you luck and hope you find something that makes you just as happy (even if it's not design) and that you don't give up on what you truly want.
