Do you ever feel that way? Nothing else can explain how you feel or why you feel that way except that four letter word. Lost. You don't know exactly where you are or where you're going. That's kind of how I feel right now.
I'm in a really big part of my life and good things are happening for me, but I still feel lost. Like I don't quite fit in anywhere in this state, don't belong is more the term. I never felt I have belonged here, not with who I am, how I dress, the way I do things, or any of that. I always say "I'm to big for this place" and I fully believe that 110% plus some. Sometimes that's just how it is.
I don't dream of staying close to my parents or other family members, as much as I might love and care for them that's not my place. I dream of the city. Sirens blaring, people constantly moving, all of the commotion, taking the subway, looking down from a small apartment on to a place that doesn't ever stop moving. That's where I really want to be.
Sometimes, I think it's time I take a drive, take off the rear view mirror, and never look back.
That sounds pretty good right about now. Who's with me?
Friday, December 2, 2011
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
Forever in our hearts
We have had her for just about as long as she's been alive, a little over half of my life. That is one basset hound that has never been hunting a day in her life, and if our house were to get robbed or broken into, she would just wag her tail and lick them to death. Anyone and everyone that came over was there to see her, no matter who they were, they were there for her. For the longest time after we got her, mine was the only bed that she would sleep on and the only room she would sleep in-which was fine with me since I'd always wanted that to happen, a dog to sleep at the foot of my bed.
If dogs could talk, I'm sure she would have the best stories to tell. I know I have some of her. She had a stomach of steel, and that's no exaggeration. Nothing made her sick, from chocolate (with the wrappers) to plastic humming bird feeders, if she could chew it she could eat it. She was always so playful too. My sister and I never told our parents this, but, when they were gone running errands or off to somewhere we didn't want to go, we would stay at home and rial that dog up until she was bouncing off the walls, then we would have her chase us around the house for a minute before running in my parents room, jumping onto their bed, and hiding under the covers waiting for Freckles to come and jump up right after us and start gnawing on our feet through the blanket. I think that was probably the best thing we ever did when our parents were away.
She's older than in that picture above now. Her face has turned grey, she's gained weight and lost a lot of it in the past week. She was the best puppy doggy I could have ever asked for and, even though she drove dad nuts, she will be greatly missed in all of our hearts.
I love you puppy doggy, thank you for letting us be your family for 11 years, I wouldn't trade it for the world. I hope you enjoy your sunny spot in the back yard baby girl, you'll always be a puppy to me.
Monday, October 31, 2011
Constantly changing
Sometimes, people grow apart. It's not planned, it just happens. Friendships, relationships, siblings, families, it happens. It's not always the best thing to happen, but it does. And to be honest? It kind of sucks. I've lost many a good friend because of it. Relationships have fallen apart because of it-some for better and some not so much. I didn't plan on it to happen or necessarily want it to happen, it just did.
At some point or another, it will happen to all of us. We might not even realize it's happening but it is. Phone calls become shorter or less frequent, the texts become few and far between, and, eventually, we become a memory to each other. Somebody that we remember we had some good times with and not so good times with, but they were there, through everything. Then one day things change and life goes on, from time to time we think about each other and the way things were but things are just to different now. No longer part of each others every day lives, just a thought that comes and goes.
Next time you get that thought, think about it hard. Think about what you had and the laughs you shared, think about who was there when you were dealing with things they couldn't understand but they were there anyway. Take time to say hi to them no matter how long it's been.
To often things change. That's the way life is, constantly changing. Don't take what you have now for granted because in a short amount of time, those things and people you have could be gone.
Don't let them change to much without realizing it, or it might be to far and in between that you see or talk to someone that once meant a lot to you.
At some point or another, it will happen to all of us. We might not even realize it's happening but it is. Phone calls become shorter or less frequent, the texts become few and far between, and, eventually, we become a memory to each other. Somebody that we remember we had some good times with and not so good times with, but they were there, through everything. Then one day things change and life goes on, from time to time we think about each other and the way things were but things are just to different now. No longer part of each others every day lives, just a thought that comes and goes.
Next time you get that thought, think about it hard. Think about what you had and the laughs you shared, think about who was there when you were dealing with things they couldn't understand but they were there anyway. Take time to say hi to them no matter how long it's been.
To often things change. That's the way life is, constantly changing. Don't take what you have now for granted because in a short amount of time, those things and people you have could be gone.
Don't let them change to much without realizing it, or it might be to far and in between that you see or talk to someone that once meant a lot to you.
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
What to say
So recently I was told that I don't blog enough but that the said person loves reading my blog (if you're reading this you know who you are *wink*). I would love to blog more but sometimes nothing extraordinary happens or I just have one of those eh days. BUT, on occasion, I do have something to say, as those of you who have read my other posts well know.
However, who actually reads this thing? I mean really, all it started out as was something to do because I got bored and felt the need to say what was in my head. Weird right? It really was never meant to be anything more but it kind of turned out that way. Isn't if funny how things work like that? You never plan on something happening but then, WHAM! It does.
I heard a quote once and it goes a little something like this:
"When you have a plan, God laughs."
It's completely true. If you make a plan, say a 5 year plan, something will always change in that plan and you know you're just going to have to work whatever that something is into what you already have planned. That's why I don't have a plan. I have a general direction in what way I want to be going with my life, but I know that if I put that direction into a specified plan, it will change whether I want it to or not. That's just the way life is.
However, who actually reads this thing? I mean really, all it started out as was something to do because I got bored and felt the need to say what was in my head. Weird right? It really was never meant to be anything more but it kind of turned out that way. Isn't if funny how things work like that? You never plan on something happening but then, WHAM! It does.
I heard a quote once and it goes a little something like this:
"When you have a plan, God laughs."
It's completely true. If you make a plan, say a 5 year plan, something will always change in that plan and you know you're just going to have to work whatever that something is into what you already have planned. That's why I don't have a plan. I have a general direction in what way I want to be going with my life, but I know that if I put that direction into a specified plan, it will change whether I want it to or not. That's just the way life is.
I'm happy with where I'm at now. I attend one of the best college's and I've been accepted into one of the best ID programs in the nation. My friends are great, my relationship with my parents and siblings has grown, and I have people in my life I know I can count on. Did I plan on any of this? No. Because, if I had, I wouldn't be where I'm at. I wouldn't know who I know and I wouldn't be doing what I'm doing.
That's what I have to say.
That's what I have to say.
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Oh well, or what if?
Do one thing a day that scares you.
It's true, it is a very good concept to try. Almost everyone plays on the safe side so they don't get hurt, but where's the fun in that?
I was thinking about it the other day and I realized something. I have done a lot of stupid, scary, fun things in my life, and you know something? I don't regret a single one of them. I'm always up for new things to try, even if I'm not entirely sure I'd like it. Like sushi. I had sushi for the first time this summer. Why? Because I've always been grossed out by it and was positive I would never like it. Guess what? I am a major sushi fan.
I have that list of things I want to do in my life and I plan on doing all of them. Yes, some of them do scare me, but so what? I would rather have a story to tell than a thought to remind me what could have been. Isn't that why we have a life? To live it?
Our time here is limited. We might as well make the best of it. That's why I do crazy things, like dye my hair purple because I can. I wear what I want despite the looks I might get. Why can't I stand out when I'm not like anyone else anyway?
I'd rather have a life time of "oh well's" that come with a story than to think "what if" all the time and wonder how things could have been.
What would you rather have?
It's true, it is a very good concept to try. Almost everyone plays on the safe side so they don't get hurt, but where's the fun in that?
I was thinking about it the other day and I realized something. I have done a lot of stupid, scary, fun things in my life, and you know something? I don't regret a single one of them. I'm always up for new things to try, even if I'm not entirely sure I'd like it. Like sushi. I had sushi for the first time this summer. Why? Because I've always been grossed out by it and was positive I would never like it. Guess what? I am a major sushi fan.
I have that list of things I want to do in my life and I plan on doing all of them. Yes, some of them do scare me, but so what? I would rather have a story to tell than a thought to remind me what could have been. Isn't that why we have a life? To live it?
Our time here is limited. We might as well make the best of it. That's why I do crazy things, like dye my hair purple because I can. I wear what I want despite the looks I might get. Why can't I stand out when I'm not like anyone else anyway?
I'd rather have a life time of "oh well's" that come with a story than to think "what if" all the time and wonder how things could have been.
What would you rather have?
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Work for it.
Sometimes it get's really frustrating for me, life. A lot of people I know have had a really easy life, you know the ones, great families, amazing friends, good grades, almost everything they want the ask for and they get. Sometimes it's not fair, but what they say is true. Life's not fair. I know that one first hand.
I was getting really frustrated these past couple of days because my computer is refusing to download a program I need for two of my classes and I can't do a single thing without it. I was talking to someone about it and it hit me.
I'm really lucky.
I may not have the picture perfect family or the millions of good friends or anything like that of which I won't go into all the details of. But I truly am lucky. Why? Because everything I do have I have worked for. I've worked my butt off to be where I am today and to be who I am today.
I am in one of the nationally ranked Interior Design programs at a university that sets the bar really high up for it's students in this program. Yet I made the cut. I worked my butt off since my junior year of high school when I realized it's what I want to do with my life. However, not everyone sees it the way I do.
People hear "Interior Design" and think "Oh, so you pick paint and fluff pillows."
Those people? They're wrong. It's so much more than that. There's rules you have to know so you can break them, there is so much knowledge that goes into the profession that no one realizes even though it really is in their daily lives. They don't realize how much time is put into projects, the stress some people go through, the sleepless nights to meet the deadlines, sometimes there is even tear shed. But guess what? To me? Every single second is worth it.
I'm happy with what I do every second I'm doing it, and I'm good at it, I'm not being conceited, I'm being honest. I wouldn't be where I am after I've worked so hard to turn around and say I suck. No way. I'm good at what I do and I'm confident in it.
Why?
Because I know I got me here. Not mommy or daddy. Me. Everything that has happened for me to be here I did. I got the grades, I did the projects, I put in the time. I got through everyone telling me I can't and that it won't go anywhere and that it was a mistake for me to choose this path. I got past all of the harsh words thrown at me meant to hurt me and to change my mind. How? By deciding nothing was going to stand in my way.
I know what it's like to work for what you want or you need. I know how great it feels to finally get to that place.
I feel bad for the people that get everything handed to them.
They'll never know this satisfaction and happiness like I do.
I was getting really frustrated these past couple of days because my computer is refusing to download a program I need for two of my classes and I can't do a single thing without it. I was talking to someone about it and it hit me.
I'm really lucky.
I may not have the picture perfect family or the millions of good friends or anything like that of which I won't go into all the details of. But I truly am lucky. Why? Because everything I do have I have worked for. I've worked my butt off to be where I am today and to be who I am today.
I am in one of the nationally ranked Interior Design programs at a university that sets the bar really high up for it's students in this program. Yet I made the cut. I worked my butt off since my junior year of high school when I realized it's what I want to do with my life. However, not everyone sees it the way I do.
People hear "Interior Design" and think "Oh, so you pick paint and fluff pillows."
Those people? They're wrong. It's so much more than that. There's rules you have to know so you can break them, there is so much knowledge that goes into the profession that no one realizes even though it really is in their daily lives. They don't realize how much time is put into projects, the stress some people go through, the sleepless nights to meet the deadlines, sometimes there is even tear shed. But guess what? To me? Every single second is worth it.
I'm happy with what I do every second I'm doing it, and I'm good at it, I'm not being conceited, I'm being honest. I wouldn't be where I am after I've worked so hard to turn around and say I suck. No way. I'm good at what I do and I'm confident in it.
Why?
Because I know I got me here. Not mommy or daddy. Me. Everything that has happened for me to be here I did. I got the grades, I did the projects, I put in the time. I got through everyone telling me I can't and that it won't go anywhere and that it was a mistake for me to choose this path. I got past all of the harsh words thrown at me meant to hurt me and to change my mind. How? By deciding nothing was going to stand in my way.
I know what it's like to work for what you want or you need. I know how great it feels to finally get to that place.
I feel bad for the people that get everything handed to them.
They'll never know this satisfaction and happiness like I do.
Saturday, August 20, 2011
The little things
Life is to short to take things seriously.
Everyone always rushes through their days thinking, "I have to do this" or "I need to do that" or "There just isn't enough time". The problem with all of these statements is that there is no enjoyment in them. No one realizes all the little things that happen every day that can make your day.
I recently came across another blog, http://justlittlethings.net/, and it really made me realize how many little things I take for granted. I sat and read every single little thing posted on that blog and I laughed at many of them because they are so incredibly true, it simply took another person to point them out to me. If you get a chance I would recommend reading all of those little things that make you smile.
With all of the business and limited time we think we have in life, I have forgotten to enjoy my little things in my every days.
These are my little things of today, or rather yesterday (August 19):
1. Hitting every green light without anywhere important to go
2. Seeing friends that I haven't seen in a long time
3. The ability to call my sister whenever I need to or want to
4. Love, not the big one, the kind of love for best friends
5. Love, the big one
6. Getting hugs from siblings just because they missed you
7. Living where I do
8. Compliments on things that you think are ugly about yourself
9. Good morning texts
These are just the ones I could think of straight off the top of my head, but I'm sure if i thought hard enough I could think of many more.
Life is to short to take things seriously.
Enjoy your little things, you'll smile more.
That's a promise.
Everyone always rushes through their days thinking, "I have to do this" or "I need to do that" or "There just isn't enough time". The problem with all of these statements is that there is no enjoyment in them. No one realizes all the little things that happen every day that can make your day.
I recently came across another blog, http://justlittlethings.net/, and it really made me realize how many little things I take for granted. I sat and read every single little thing posted on that blog and I laughed at many of them because they are so incredibly true, it simply took another person to point them out to me. If you get a chance I would recommend reading all of those little things that make you smile.
With all of the business and limited time we think we have in life, I have forgotten to enjoy my little things in my every days.
These are my little things of today, or rather yesterday (August 19):
1. Hitting every green light without anywhere important to go
2. Seeing friends that I haven't seen in a long time
3. The ability to call my sister whenever I need to or want to
4. Love, not the big one, the kind of love for best friends
5. Love, the big one
6. Getting hugs from siblings just because they missed you
7. Living where I do
8. Compliments on things that you think are ugly about yourself
9. Good morning texts
These are just the ones I could think of straight off the top of my head, but I'm sure if i thought hard enough I could think of many more.
Life is to short to take things seriously.
Enjoy your little things, you'll smile more.
That's a promise.
Monday, August 1, 2011
Style is me
Today I made a quick trip to Layton with two of my roommates and it was fantastic. For once, I didn't work so I actually got to get ready today! I did my hair and make up, put in all 7 of my earrings, threw on a fantastic little day dress paired with purple tights and some fantastic black ankle boot heels. One of my favorite outfits if I do say so myself.
Yes, there is a point to what I was wearing.
After we made all of our shopping stops, we went and grabbed a bit to eat at Zuppa's (if you haven't already been, it's a must) before heading back to our little college town. While the other two were still ordering, I went to get a drink and got a comment on how cute my dress was. Well, this minute-making comment was followed by a day making comment.
The comment?
"You are the only person in this state that I have seen dress so cute."
Wow. I won't lie, my confidence was boosted.
I might live in Utah, but that doesn't change who I am. I am a very style oriented person, yet I do it for cheap. The dress from today? $12 at a small shop in Logan that I LOVE! The commenter is from San Francisco, CA (jealous) and I told her that I don't think I am meant to live in this state and that my hope is to one day end up in New York or some other fantastic city as such. Her reply? "You would do fine in the city, I can tell".
This girl, Ashleigh was her name, seriously made my day today. It might be something small, but I really am glad someone notices how I stand out, which I just LOVE to do as a matter of fact.
I don't think I was born to fit in but made to stand out, and I'm okay with that.
I conformed to the "Utah syle" for long enough, not wearing my heels the way I want to or dresses whenever I feel like it, and I'm done conforming. I have my style. It's who I am and part of what makes me me. That's what your life should be. YOURS. Don't let anyone else tell you who to be, how to act, what to say, or what to wear. make those decisions yourself.
I am.
Yes, there is a point to what I was wearing.
After we made all of our shopping stops, we went and grabbed a bit to eat at Zuppa's (if you haven't already been, it's a must) before heading back to our little college town. While the other two were still ordering, I went to get a drink and got a comment on how cute my dress was. Well, this minute-making comment was followed by a day making comment.
The comment?
"You are the only person in this state that I have seen dress so cute."
Wow. I won't lie, my confidence was boosted.
I might live in Utah, but that doesn't change who I am. I am a very style oriented person, yet I do it for cheap. The dress from today? $12 at a small shop in Logan that I LOVE! The commenter is from San Francisco, CA (jealous) and I told her that I don't think I am meant to live in this state and that my hope is to one day end up in New York or some other fantastic city as such. Her reply? "You would do fine in the city, I can tell".
This girl, Ashleigh was her name, seriously made my day today. It might be something small, but I really am glad someone notices how I stand out, which I just LOVE to do as a matter of fact.
I don't think I was born to fit in but made to stand out, and I'm okay with that.
I conformed to the "Utah syle" for long enough, not wearing my heels the way I want to or dresses whenever I feel like it, and I'm done conforming. I have my style. It's who I am and part of what makes me me. That's what your life should be. YOURS. Don't let anyone else tell you who to be, how to act, what to say, or what to wear. make those decisions yourself.
I am.
Sunday, July 24, 2011
what makes me tick?
so i have these little things that some people might call "obsessions" that may be so, but i still love them all the same.
the first i already talked about in a previous post. Alice. that is just such a fantastic movie! that and the deeper meaning behind it is what i really love. Tim Burton did such a great job capturing each and every character and recreating the "return to wonderland" (aka underland), he and Johnny Depp are just so amazing together that words cannot explain it. while i do love ALL of Burton's movies, Alice in Wonderland has got to be my favorite of them all.
next is the ultimate sport of soccer. i have played on teams with my twin sister ever since we were 5 years old and it is the very best thing i have ever done. i tried basketball and softball as a kid but they were never the same thing. i also did the whole swim team in high school sophomore year via my parentals request, but, even though i kind of liked it and probably would have stuck with it, that ended the first practice junior year when i injured my shoulder. nothing has ever given me the same rush as i get on the pitch though. i have always played right wing defense while my sister played left. coaches would tell us that we were their secret weapon because we would work so well together without saying a word to the other, it just happened. no other position is the same. on defense you get the responsibility of last attack and you have to be on your toes constantly to keep the pressure off the goal. there's such an adrenaline rush that i get knowing that and it makes me want to push and try harder. just don't make me mad on the field or you will most definitely regret it. that's a promise.
third comes music. there is always a song for everything. a broken heart, a wonderful day, and everything in between. you can't go wrong with any of it. well...maybe classical. i really can't stand that stuff. but really, i don't know what i would do if i didn't have my zune. probably die.
i am also highly fascinated by design. i suppose that is a good thing considering the fact of i am majoring in Interior Design and Marketing at Utah State University. i absolutely love it! i was never planning on going into this field either, which just makes it all the better. it all started my junior year in high school when i took Interior Design as an elective class because i thought it would be an 'easy A' (great movie by the way). i was wrong. it was not easy. it was challenging and inspiring and i absolutely fell in love with it. i am not a very conceited person, but i will admit to being good at what i do. i think that part of that comes from the fact that i love to do it so much, and if it is then so be it. i would rather do something i love than something i hate for the rest of my life and by George i am going to do it!
fifth, i am obsessed with vintage. i always say i was born in the wrong time era and i believe it sometimes. while i do love very contemporary things, vintage is still my favorite. there's just something in the simplicity of the times then that we don't have now. the style, the people, the cars, the fashion, the cities, it all fascinates me and i just can't get enough of it! i am determined to, one day, own some type of vintage car (ideal would be a '65 mustang, but i'll take whatever i can get and drive it all the time). it will happen.
along with vintage is my FAVORITE so-called obsession. Marilyn Monroe.
i. love. her. my apartment has gigantic, framed pictures of her all around it and i am not ashamed of that fact. some say she was a sex icon, and she was indeed, but it is NOT because of her actions. it was because of her image. society took what she looked like and made her into the icon everyone knew. i could go on and on about all of the facts i know from date/death (june 1 1926-august 5 1962) to her real name (Norma Jean) and why she changed it. i have been to her grave two times and you better believe i plan to visit her a lot more in LA. she was a great actress with inspiring words, and definitely not who everyone thought she was. i will forever look up to Ms Monroe for who she made herself despite what societal views were. she was and will always be great. say anything bad about her and you can talk to me, i will defend her. trust me.
we need these little "obsessions" in our lives, these are just my biggest ones. i have many more, these are just the biggest influences in my life. they will never leave me.
Sunday, July 10, 2011
It's for you
 |
| I was talking to my momma today while I was home for a little while and our choice of topic made me realize this: Your life is yours. No one can tell you who you were, who you are, or who you'll be. No one can tell you what you will or will not do. No one can tell you that. No one except you. |
You make your decisions, you make your mood, everything in your life is up to you. Granted things happen for a reason, that's just how it is, things are planned before you know it. Try and alter that plan and God laughs. However, you choose your reaction towards what is thrown your way. You can be happy, sad, depressed, overjoyed, pretty much anything in the book, it's just up to you for which one you choose.
My life has not been an easy one, a few of you know that. I've had some pretty tough trials from day one-literally. Even though I don't remember a lot of the things from my life because they happened when I was little, I know the effects they have had on my life as of today. How do I take it?
Positively.
It's made me stronger, happier, and a better person. Certain people left my life for good and I'm happy that they did because better people replaced them for good. And for that, I am grateful.
I choose to be happy, no one chooses it for me. I look at the bright side of things, no one points them out.
My life is mine. Mine to live and mine to react to.
No one is going to tell me different.
I won't lose my muchness.
I won't lose my muchness.
Sunday, July 3, 2011
Four letter word
Liar.
It's really great to find out who you are. Seriously. You think that you know someone and that they aren't the type of person to lie to you about something so simple, or blow you off with an excuse, then BOOM. It happens.
Really guys? I mean it takes less time to say "I don't want to go" or "That doesn't seem like my kind of thing" or "I don't want to feel out of place" (aka the truth) than it does to make up a lie about why you can't or might not be able to do something or go somewhere such as "I work and no one will switch me because of this and this and this reason". I promise it will save you breathing time too.
The other thing about liars? If you don't want someone to find out your real plans, don't put them out for said person to see. That's not even smart. Then you have to come up with some other lie about why you ended up doing something else instead of the original thing you were asked to do in the first place.
Yes I am aware that this particular post might seem whiny or complanitory and what not, but this is my blog and i'll say what I like, if you don't like it, don't read it. 'Nuff said.
But really.
Nobody likes a liar.
Monday, June 27, 2011
Wonderland
"Imagine a place where you can always escape to
An island off the coast of nowhere
A new destination of your own creation
Just waiting till you choose to go there"
These are the beginning lyrics to the song Welcome to Mystery by the Plain White T's off of their new album, Wonders of the Younger, and I think that it describes perfectly what Wonderland really is, to me anyway.
You see, I don't remember my dreams. Sure, every once in a while I'll remember something I "dreamt" about for a minute or so but that's it. I can go for weeks, even months, at a time without remembering a single thing from that so-called "dream-land". That's why I always laugh when people tell me "Sweet dreams" or something of the sort when I go to bed. Their dreams may be sweet, or sometimes not so sweet, but mine? Mine are absent.
As some of you may, or may not, know, Alice in Wonderland is one of my slight obsessions. Why? Because things are not always as they seem in wonderland, such as in real life. People can be fake and lie to you or stab your back just when you trust them the most, however, in Wonderland, just as in a dream, YOU control what happens, or you think you can as Alice does.
You can dream up the unthinkable and do what might be considered impossible, but to you, it's possible and that's what matters.
One of my favorite quotes from this movie is said by Alice Kingsley and I find it to be very true.
"Time can be funny in dreams."
Anything can happen in a short amount of time, or a long amount. Think about it, do you really know where a dream starts, or how long it's been going for? The only real way to know when one ends is when you wake up from it.
As we grow older, we often forget to use that little thing some refer to as imagination, even though, when we were younger we were taught to use it all the time, and we did use it. From imaginary friends to make believe worlds, even a simple game of Cops and Robbers required a bit of imaginary belief. So why did we ever stop using it?
Wonderland is an amazing place full of amazing possibilities. It's just waiting for one to discover it.
Wonderland, is my dream land.
Friday, June 24, 2011
Image, love yours
So, as some of you readers might know, and if you didn't you will, I'm a lifeguard at the Logan Aquatic Center. I see all types of people every day: tall ones, short ones, thin ones, round ones, red ones, tan ones, ink'd ones, white ones. You name it, I see it. But how many of them really love themselves for themselves?
Honestly? Probably not very many. And that is such a shame. Society portray's the "perfect" male and the "perfect" female, but who can really match up? After all, they portray these said people in magazines and on TV where they can use photoshop programs and as much make-up as they want/need to in order to make a particular person look a certain way.
Now granted, there are some simply stunning people out there blessed by genetical make, but not all of us are so fortunate to have that fantastic smile or olive skin 24/7. However, we are all originals. We look the way we do for a reason and we should all learn to embrace that.
Guys, you don't need a six pack set of abs, the right clothes, or the know-all of cars for a girl to notice you for, well, you.
Girls, your hair doesn't need to fall exactly the right way, you don't need the brand name clothes or the perfectly flat tummy that we all wish we had, and you sure as hell don't need to be a skeleton!
Because I am a girl with some of these image issues, even though I do love myself just the way I am (let's face it, we'll always have insecurities), this is my "societal portrayal".....
<--this is sexy
Honestly? Probably not very many. And that is such a shame. Society portray's the "perfect" male and the "perfect" female, but who can really match up? After all, they portray these said people in magazines and on TV where they can use photoshop programs and as much make-up as they want/need to in order to make a particular person look a certain way.
Now granted, there are some simply stunning people out there blessed by genetical make, but not all of us are so fortunate to have that fantastic smile or olive skin 24/7. However, we are all originals. We look the way we do for a reason and we should all learn to embrace that.
Guys, you don't need a six pack set of abs, the right clothes, or the know-all of cars for a girl to notice you for, well, you.
Girls, your hair doesn't need to fall exactly the right way, you don't need the brand name clothes or the perfectly flat tummy that we all wish we had, and you sure as hell don't need to be a skeleton!
Because I am a girl with some of these image issues, even though I do love myself just the way I am (let's face it, we'll always have insecurities), this is my "societal portrayal".....
<--this is sexythis is not-->
Love yourself for you.
Enough said.Monday, June 20, 2011
Friends. What are they?
I know that at some point everyone wonders who they're real friends are and who they can trust. I am glad to be able to say that I know who mine are. They aren't the ones that call me when everyone else is busy, or that only talk to me when they see me.
Nope.
They are the ones that call me to vent, stay up with me while I'm working on my projects, take road trips at 12:30 in the morning, go shopping for hours and don't buy a single thing, sit on the floor laughing at nothing, and make everything better without saying a word.
I do have a lot of people I know, but very few are true to the end.
These are my friends.
Who are yours?
Saturday, June 18, 2011
This one's for you Princess
Alexis Nicole Nelson
June 29, 2006 - June 18, 2006
June 29, 2006 - June 18, 2006
"Mommy's girly girl, Daddy's car chick
She was the best of both worlds!"
She was the best of both worlds!"
Enjoy the small things in life because you don't really know what you've got until it's gone.
A year ago, my family and I learned to appreciate this statement and what it really means more than anyone could ever imagine. The little girl above is my cousin, she left this world last year to go and be with her Heavenly Father.
She was such an amazing little girl, she had the privilege of doing things most 3 year olds would never even think of. She was able to be flower girl at her parents wedding, take vacations with her family, work on cars, have a best friend before she could talk, and wipe away the tears of those she loved because she didn't want them to be sad. She was a strong heart and a sweet spirit and laughed at everything she could daily. She taught us what it's like to truly love someone, no matter how big or how small you may be.
It's always harder when you don't know why someone left this world and even harder to wonder what they could have accomplished or why they were really here. That still stands true in this case, but with Lexi, some of us know why she was here. She came along at a time when her mommy and daddy really needed her, I guess you could say she "saved" them. I'm thankful to that little girl for coming into our lives when she did, but more so for when she came into their lives.
It's always harder when you don't know why someone left this world and even harder to wonder what they could have accomplished or why they were really here. That still stands true in this case, but with Lexi, some of us know why she was here. She came along at a time when her mommy and daddy really needed her, I guess you could say she "saved" them. I'm thankful to that little girl for coming into our lives when she did, but more so for when she came into their lives.
A year ago today, the cutest and sweetest princess I know left this world to be home in her kingdom. She taught those left on earth how to laugh at the little things, make silly faces, dress up, redo painted nails until you love them, and enjoy what you really have. I hope you're painting that kingdom pink little girl!
We love you and miss you Alexis Nicole, but we'll see you again, someday, in the clouds ♥
This was Lexi's favorite song that her aunt, Anna, my sister, Sarah, and I had the privilege of singing at her funeral together.
Friday, June 17, 2011
Take your shot
This song is the perfect description of my life.
I have a dream for myself, I know where I want to be. But sometimes, not everything works out as I plan it to, or at least not the way I want it to work out even if it still works somehow. There are trials and tribulations that I have to overcome and I know that they make me strong.
This song says "weighing down on me, but I'm a fighter" and that's what I am. Life can throw whatever it wants my way and I'll take it and deal with it as best I know how to get where I'm going. Nothing's holding me back. I've still got a shot, even if it's only a shot in the dark.
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Places, things, and people
This life is short, make the most of it.
Here is my “bucket list” I made my senior year of high school as a Sociology assignment. Then I figured, what the heck, I made the list, might as well do it.
The highlight tells what I have accomplished already.
Enjoy.
- Go to London
- Climb to the top of the Eifel Tower
- Swim in a flooded field
- .Learn to snowboard
- Go surfing in Hawaii
- Try out for American Idol
- Graduate design school
- Design and build my own home
- Meet someone famous (Dawn Wells-aka Maryanne from Gilligan’s Island)
- Meet at least 5 famous music artists/bands (Katy Perry, One Republic, The Maine, Plain White T’s, HelloGoodbye, plus many more)
- Go to Japan
- Graduate College
- Get a 4.0 GPA two years straight
- Learn to waterski
- Learn to wakeboard
- Backpack through Europe
- Go to a World Cup game
- Go to the Olympics (2002 Winter Olympics SLC, UT)
- Finish the Pharmacy Technician program at the DATC
- Adopt a child
- Live in London at least a year
- Ride on top of a double decker bus
- Drive a car in England
- Ride the world’s tallest roller coaster (at the time: Top Thrill Dragster, Cedar Point, OH)
- Go to Waldo, FL
- Go to Gettysburg, PA
- Own a 1965 blue Mustang
- Own 20 pairs of Converse
- Design my own wedding dress
- Visit 15 castles
- Go to Disneyland
- Swim with dolphins
- Go scuba diving
- Go to Disney World
- Go to Hell and back (Hell, Michigan)
- Go skydiving
- Take a hot air balloon ride
- Get a tattoo
- Learn German
- Go to Costa Rica
- See the Northern Lights
- Go to Stratford-Upon-Avon
- See a famous person’s grave (Brian Jones)
- Visit Bath, England
- See Jane Austen’s house
- Visit Stonehenge
- Discover the truth about JFK’s death (records to be released in 2017)
- Go river rafting
- Go to the shoe museum in Toronto, Canada
- See a bear outside of the zoo
- Visit the Tower of London
- Go shopping in London
- Go shopping in Paris
- Go shopping in NYC
- Go horseback riding
- See Old Faithful
- Learn to fly an airplane
- Fly across the ocean (England trip = 12hr flight)
- Get a motorists license
- Ride an elephant
- Go to Angel Falls
- Ride the world’s longest roller coaster
- Ride the world’s fastest roller coaster (at the time: Top Thrill Dragster)
- Go drag racing
- Spend an entire day at the beach
- Eat a Big Judd (1lb hamburger with everything on it-Rexburg, ID)
- Ride the New York, New York roller coaster
- Go bungee jumping
- Ride the Stratosphere roller coasters
- Go cliff jumping
- Run a marathon
- Pass Chemistry (Junior year)
- Have an all-day Disney Movie Marathon
- Stay awake for 72 hours with no assistance (i.e. caffeine, sugar, etc.)
- Break my left arm
- Get in a bad car accident
- Talk in a British accent for a day
- Draw a mural in sidewalk chalk (Austin’s driveway)
- Dye my hair pink
- Dye my hair blue
- Go sledding on something other than a sled (pizza pans, cookie sheets, a mattress)
- Road trip coast to coast
- Go to Fiji
- Get in a fist fight
- Go ice blocking
- Learn to play guitar
- Sing for a band
- Be a little kid for a day
- Spend a day in the life of a stranger
- Career as an Interior Designer
- Go swimming in a pond
- Go fishing
- Go mountain climbing
- Go repelling
- Pay for a pizza in pennies
- Get a pet chinchilla
- Design a room around gum wrappers
- Own a vintage dress (1920’s swing dress)
- Go to Rome
- Pass the National Pharmacy Technician test
- Accomplish this list before I die
45 down, 56 to go.
Wish me luck.
7
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Absentee
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, and in some cases this may be true. But sometimes, I think it makes the heart grow absent. Then you think you've got it all, only to later realize you lost a big part of something you had or someone you were and, in many of the cases, you can't get it back. In those cases you have to make the best of what you have, remember what you had, and keep moving forward to what you will hold.
I am moving forward.
I am moving forward.
Here I am
Sometimes you just need to say things. A lot of us think the same things, but many of us are to afraid that everyone will judge us for what we have to say or what our opinions may be. That is not my case. I realize that not everyone has the same opinions and views. That's okay with me. But, I have a mouth, and I'm not afraid to use it.
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